I know you mean well with the post rotor, but it's a little off the mark. But that's only due to my own personal issues.
I'll explain it now, so that all can understand.
4 years ago, I had a massive mental breakdown. Ended up in a psych ward for a few weeks. Was diagnosed with psychotic depression. And i've been on anti-depressants ever since.
Thankfully these work tremendously well in regards to my mental state, and in pain management (the type i'm on is used for physical pain management as well). The reason I ended up in such a state is due to physical problem. I suffer from muscles that twitch on their own. It's like someone sitting there, pinching you, here, and there, and everywhere, between 5-15 times a minute. I also suffer a constant never ending slight headache. But the main problem is when I was trying to go to sleep (on no meds), I would be 'almost' asleep... then BANG goes one somewhere in my head, or in my leg, or arm.
... awake... :/ rinse. repeat. til insane.
Anyway, these conditions resulted in massive sleep deprivation that combined with depression, led to losing my mind (it's happened 3 times... lost 3 jobs... only the last one resulted in hospitalisation, but the first 2 times were nowhere near as bad as the last). The first 2 times I returned home, and my mind came back to me within a month or so, as I could then just sleep when needed. The last time it took almost 6 months of 10-12hours of sleep a night (this time assisted with meds), until I regained some stability. Nowadays, i'm fine. The pain is managed enough, and the anti-depressants work extremely well in sending me to sleep each night. This may be quickly, or it may take an hour or 2. But as long as i'm not waking up to an alarm, I sleep generally well. I just keep on top of my required sleep required, and I built my current life around it.
So how does this relate to gt academy?
Well, when I came into gt academy, I knew that I really only had 1 chance to win. I was 36 at the time, and I know they are not looking for an 'older' driver. As crazy as that sounds, they are wanting drivers between 20-30 to win... older drivers have slower reflexs... right? Well, I know that isn't totally correct, as I can still be at the top of sim racing, even at my age. But in terms of longevity in a career as a racing car driver, that's actually getting on a bit...
That ain't a cop out though. I aimed to just show them how wrong that thinking is.
But, I really just ran out of time. I practiced way too many cars, and the amount of tracks I had to get through really didn't help. I never spent a bunch of time, just in 1 car, at 1 track, just to really push it to learn exactly what the physics engine needed.
So, what's my plan? Well, I just started running gt6 again in tt mode. I'm probably only going to learn a few cars, but i'll be spending way more time in each car at one time. And i'll just work slowly through all the tracks I have time for.
Will I be banned/disqualed for lying on the medical form? Maybe, but that's ok (as i'll be admiting all this in a letter to them, if I qual this year). But I hid those secrets because I know full well, that saying you have been in a psych ward, as well as having physical problems, is probably an auto 'we don't really want you' red card. And at best, it's a 'look, if you make it to silverstone, we will cut you early regardless'.
At least this next time, I don't plan to try to get off my meds before going there (I assumed their would be a drug test while there, as they did it in the american qual my teammate won). Going off my meds was a mistake, as I came in a decent amount sleep deprived.
I still want to try to win gt academy. I know I can
Even just going to silverstone for the experience, and the chance to win is worth it. But it really doesn't matter if I get through this year, or the next, or the next. At some point, i'll be put in a real car, and hopefully I make no mistakes, and just shine.
Well. I hope
Cheers,
metal
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